Stepping over the fear

Back in September I spoke on stage for the first time.

Well, not the first first time exactly but first official time where I had been asked, I had written something and spent hours preparing myself to get up there on the STAGE and say what I had to say.

I had been asked back in Spring time, referred by a friend on facebook and reached out to via FB messenger! At that moment the event was due to be that Summer. It was to be a 60 second speech about what creativity and what it means to me and my life.  Sounded intriguing!

I felt the wavering immediately, and even though it was ONLY 60 seconds it took me a moment to recover from the initial fearful reaction and the yapping voice of my inner critic.

Yap, Yap, Yap...what have I got to say to these people? I don't do things like this! I'm a small group and 1-1 girl. I'll get so nervous, I will shake and mess up. I will embarrass myself. I don't know where to begin. Yikes!

Thankfully I knew somewhere deeper that did actually want to do it, that I wanted to be courageous and step out of my comfort zone. I knew that I could figure this out. I had plenty of time didn't I?

YES, I'll do it! What is the worst that could happen? What is the best that could happen?

Turns out I had even more time to prepare when the event was postponed until September.

Summer passed and this September night came around. All the while...Read, recite, read, recite, read, recite.

Many inspiring ladies spoke in front of me and I loved hearing their stories.

I was up second last. 

Despite my nerves, and the closer I got to my turn the less I could remember what I wanted to say, I stepped up and I spoke. Here is what I said:

In childhood I wandered fields pretending to be a lost explorer and spent hours drawing.

I followed that thread, my love of creativity and nature and these moments of joy would become essential.

My art teacher once told me when I was struggling,

’If you know where you want to get to, there is always a way to get there’.

I trusted him and I was able to trust myself. I became more aware of my own abilities and had the courage to grow and step closer to my dreams.

In art school I found a very different space but my values became clearer

I began to search for precious urban nature and looked at environmental issues. These and the landscapes of my journeys north became the inspiration for the pieces I created.

Now, this thread is still leading me where I want to get to and i’m helping others do the same.

I’m creating moments of learning as an educator and encouraging people to trust their intuition and values.

I’m walking with people to a place where they can look around and recognise their own moments of wonder and curiosity and how they might make their own difference in the world.

Thank you.

I felt everyone listening. I felt connected with the emotions behind my words, almost to the point of tears. I was elated afterwards.

Now, I'm open to the possibility of doing it again (keeping it short though!), I want to be in a place where I can do it with more courage and clarity. Time for me to practise some more.

Where have you taken a small risk that feels like it has made a big difference to you, that has driven you forward to want to do more of that thing? or made you feel like you could soar?

I'd love to hear about it.

With Warmth and Wonder